i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
