Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
