He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
