So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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