dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just want nice things and good sex
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
