She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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