Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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