My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
