he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
