so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
