I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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