i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
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I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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