Whatcha textin bout Willis?
barbara walters just said penis...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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