he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize