He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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