What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize