We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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