i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
