i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
sarcasm needs its own font
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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