Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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