I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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