HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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