I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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