I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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