So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
