Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
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Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis