If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit