I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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