dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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