I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
