Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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