so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
