Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
