Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
actually, I'm a sock model
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
