i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Even my vagina gasped.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
