wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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