next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you will always have a special place in my vag
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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