I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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