it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
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I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
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Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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