It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
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how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
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The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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