i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
