A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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