forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
