omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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