We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize