dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
