whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
