Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
