Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
