one word: firstdatebathroomanal
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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