i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
