so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
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He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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