just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
