Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
