Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
