I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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