Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize