So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize