dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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