Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
