I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
