you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
