I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Still dying that you shit outside
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
