we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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