You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
